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Film at 11:00

Last week when Mary Ellen suggested we go to an 11 p.m. movie, I was surprised.

“That’s too late. I’ll doze off and you’ll be angry with me,” I yelped.

“I don’t care,” said Mary Ellen. “We are going to see a movie tonight.”

The Academy Awards were coming up and my wife wanted to be sure to see all the flicks in the “Best Picture” category. The last one left for us to see, Lady Bird, was only showing at 11:15. I wrote this column on Friday evening at 6 p.m., two days before the Sunday Oscars. And it was just about the time of day when I was already choosing which pair of pajama bottoms would go with which t-shirt. If we were to go out for a movie, we needed something to occupy ourselves between 6 p.m. and 10:30. We ended up watching a movie on Netflix, which is kind of like grabbing a bite to eat at home before heading out for dinner.

I decided to ask our friends Bob and Cathy if they wanted to come along. “Bob, Mary Ellen and I are going to an 11 o’clock, movie. You guys want to join us?”

“Cathy usually doesn’t get up until noon.”

“No, I mean 11 tonight.”

“Wait, you guys are going to a movie at 11 at night? That means the film won’t let out until the next day. I’m impressed. Are you writing an article for AARP on the lives of super-seniors?”

Since Bob declined the invitation, it was just Mary Ellen and me off to the theater. It wasn’t long before my concern about the evening proved correct. Mary Ellen kept poking me in my side. “Dick, you’re dozing off.”

“I told you this would happen.”

“I know, but we’re still in the car on the way to the theater.”

When we arrived, I recalled that this particular cinema had state-of-the-art seating – recliners with comfortable armrests, and a place for snacks and drinks. “This is awesome,” I said. “It looks like the chair Captain Kirk sat in when he was negotiating with the Klingons.” The last time we were there I had more fun adjusting the seat angles than watching the film, so while it was only a B movie, it turned about to be an A nap.

“Do not fall asleep this time,” cautioned my wife. I want to talk about the movie on the way home.”

As we headed back to the house at 2 a.m., Mary Ellen asked me what I thought of the flick. I told her that I really related to the part where the guy went to class and forgot to study for the exam. He soon realized he forgot to wear pants, too. Then the next day he performed in his school play and couldn’t remember his lines.

“That wasn’t in the movie, Dick. That sounds like one of your recurring nightmares.”

She was right. I had fallen asleep and missed the entire movie. But I was thrilled my dreams were Oscar material.

On Sunday night we watched the Academy Awards. I had no idea which film got best picture. I fell asleep by 10:30.

Dick Wolfsie is a syndicated columnist and personality for WISH TV Indianapolis.